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body, pleasure & sexuality

a space to uncover your sensual self

speed of trust •

Everything I’d do if I found myself in a sex rut

Every relationship will have its share of ups and downs when it comes to how much sex you’re having, the quality of the sex, and the level of desire. It’s normal, and by no means has to signal that there’s a problem in your relationship if you have more sex at certain times, and less sex at others. However, there is something to be said for what’s referred to as “desire discrepancy,” which is the experience of many, many people in any length of relationships, when one partner simply has more des...
speed of trust •

Somatic Microdosing

I’m often telling clients to “micro dose embodiment” rather than try to create big ritual. I love the visual, and shared understanding it gives us, and I notice it often makes people relax a little more into the idea of doing this whole embodiment thing. There’s a way of coming back to your body that doesn’t mean you have to work in big long involved embodiment practices every single day, because let’s be honest, most of us don’t have time for all of that. And this is actually one of the biggest...
speed of trust •

Love is a skill, not a genetic disposition

My partner and I are from two very different households. This is perhaps the strongest point of contention in our relationship, and also probably the strongest point of contention in any relationship—you and your partner have simply had different experiences of life. I’m not necessarily referring to how our attachment styles show up, though this is of course a major part of any relationship including ours, and yes, based a lot in the fact that we’ve had very different experiences. This is a diff...
Good Vibes Clinic •

Somatic Sexology & Sexological Bodywork Explained | Taylor Neal — Good Vibes Clinic

As a somatic practitioner, the most common (and most obvious) question I get is “What the heck is somatics?” The assumption before we chat about it is often that it’s some sort of new-age-y alternative healing modality, and often folks look at it and say “that’s not for me” based on this impulse to lump somatic work in with the “woo-woo,” more spiritual modalities they associate with long wool capes, crystals, and tarot cards. But the funny thing is that all people are already having somatic exp...
happieholl.com.au •

The Ultimate Guide to Anal Aftercare: What Your Butt Needs After a Goo

By Taylor Neal
 
For many, the quality of aftercare received from our partner(s) can greatly impact our openness and/or desire to engage in future sexual experiences with that person(s), and this can include ourselves. 
If we’re left feeling sore, unsettled, exposed, vulnerable, shameful, ignored, or abandoned, after sexual experiences without tending carefully and attentively to our needs and the needs of our lovers, the sexual experience as a whole can feel tainted. We might end up feeling a l...
speed of trust •

Asking "what's possible" has gotten me much farther than waiting to be ready ever has

One of the main things couples come into clinic for is the common experience that somewhere along the line between work and kids and routine and many years, they stopped having sex. Of course this shows up with many individuals coming to session (usually the partner with the low desire will come on their own first), but it’s especially with couples in longer term relationships, who share that they had a “normal” sex life at the beginning of their relationship, and they’ve somehow found themselve...
Good Vibes Clinic •

The Pleasure Revolution: Women’s Sexual Liberation Through the Decades — Good Vibes Clinic

It’s Women’s Day, so naturally I can’t help but thinking how we got to wear we are as women in regards to sexuality and pleasure. Being a woman working at a woman-owned Sex & Relationship Therapy clinic with all women practitioners, I can’t help but look around me at the sexual wellness landscape in the western world and consider the women that came before us, and the women that came before them, that made it possible for such a marvellous thing to exist as it does in some countries today. The b...
Pleasure Chest •

What Makes a Good Lover? 3 Themes We Heard From You

In the lead up to Valentine’s Day, I set out on the streets of Sydney to ask folks what makes a good lover. 
As a sex therapist, I had a couple of ideas going into this day of street interviewing, though I was also very curious what would come up for folks in the moment. What’s on the top of people’s minds when they think about their ideal lover? I wondered if there would be discussion of certain techniques, elaborate date nights, gifts, or this dream many folks have that their lover will “just...
speed of trust •

Pleasure Discipline

Coming off the back of the Sensual Selfie Challenge, I feel called to write about the barriers that come up in regard to our pleasure, and how pleasure discipline is essential to living pleasure-based lives. As my somatic teacher always says, “any practice is just as much about the distractions as it is about the practice.” There isn’t any practice we do that doesn’t also bring distractions, and so our ability to implement practices, whether it be a regular yoga class or exercising, or cooking y...
Pleasure Chest •

New Year, New Pleasure: 6 Ways to Upgrade Your Sex Life in 2026

New year, same body, but a whole new opportunity to bring more presence, intention, and alignment into how you experience pleasure. 
As a sexologist, I can tell you this: great sex isn’t about performing better, lasting longer, or copying what you saw online. 
Great sex is firstly about deep listening - to your body, to your desires, and to your partner. 
It’s also about awareness, communication, curiosity, and giving yourself permission to feel good, over and over and over again, because it’s s...
Good Vibes Clinic •

A Somatic Therapist’s Guide to Grounding During the Holiday Season — Good Vibes Clinic

The holiday season can be many things at once.For some people, it’s cozy, meaningful, and genuinely joyful. For others, it’s busy, stimulating, and just a bit more than their nervous system has capacity for. And for most of us? It’s a mix, somewhere in between: moments of connection, laughter and joy, sprinkled with long lines, loud rooms, sugar crashes, and calendars that suddenly look very full and extremely social.From my perspective as a somatic practitioner, the best way to navigate the hol...
Good Vibes Clinic •

Penis 101: Pleasure-Centred Guide to Touching a Penis — Good Vibes Clinic

Pleasure-based touch focuses on sensation and connection, not on getting somewhere fast. A few key principles:Below are examples of strokes and touch qualities that can help explore and expand pleasure. These can be used during partnered touch or for self-exploration.Place your hand gently around the penis without moving. Feel the temperature, texture, and subtle pulsations. This can be surprisingly intimate and grounding, helping both giver and receiver tune in before movement begins.Use a slow...
Bonjibon •

How We Experience Desire: A Closer Look at Context and Where Desire Comes From

One of the most common things folks present with in my clinical sex therapy practice is the experience of “low desire.” 
Low desire can loosely be defined as experiencing levels of sexual desire that are believed to be below “normal” or average, which is usually measured against a perceived societal norm. This experience of perceived low desire often leaves us feeling like there’s something wrong with us, like we’re broken, and quite often, like we’re a disappointment to our partners when we’re...

How does consent feel in your body? | Sexfluent

1. Find yourself a space where you won’t be interrupted for at least 10-15 minutes Spend some time with your “No” and then zoom your awareness out, back into the space you’re in, and take a moment of stillness just to integrate what you learned.2. Get comfortable in a position you can hold for this amount of time, where you feel safe, supported and cozy lose your eyes, and take a moment to feel for what’s underneath you, the support of the surface below you. 3. Tune into your breath, without try...

How Not To Become a Hot Mess When You Have a Crush | Sexfluent

The way that having a crush seems to add a little sparkle to our worlds—even for a moment—often has us getting excited about the little things, like seeing their name pop up on our phones, those little glances they give us from across the room, creating playlists for them, and sharing parts of ourselves that we might not otherwise give much air-time to in our day-to-day lives.Crushing inspires us to reconnect with things that make us unique. It also inspires us to notice and find joy in the smal...
Good Vibes Clinic •

Why We Need Kink Representation In Media (And how it helps us understand desire)

There’s been a lot of conversation lately about kink in pop culture, especially in the wake of Sabrina Carpenter’s Man’s Best Friend album cover, and whether it’s empowering, degrading, feminist, or “just for the male gaze.” But the very fact that we're talking about it is exactly why this kind of representation matters, how talking about sexuality forces us to get curious about our own internalised beliefs and narratives.For those of us that don’t know what I’m talking about, the popstar Sabrin...
speed of trust •

Being human and having desire

Before we can explore more pleasure and connection during sex, we first have to be able to get it going somehow, and this always means someone has to initiate.Initiating sex is one of the most common challenges I hear from clients in session.What comes up a lot when it comes to initiating it seems, is the inherent vulnerability wrapped up in initiating. To initiate sex is to let your partner(s) in on your desire, to make them aware of what you're thinking/feeling/wanting in that moment. In a wor...

Here's what's missing in the consent conversation | Sexfluent

But even if we know what consent is, it’s still pretty common for our understanding to stay in our heads, rather than in our bodies.A lot of the time, consent is taught as something we talk about. One person asks for something, the other says yes or no, and that’s it. We’ve had the conversation, and we move on to whatever’s next.It’s also something we feel in our bodies. It’s a full-body experience—something that goes way beyond just saying yes or no. When we only think about consent in a mental...
Good Vibes Clinic •

Your Breath Is Your Best Sex Toy, Here’s Why

Sometimes I feel like a broken record with clients for how often I find myself discussing the usefulness of the breath. It’s one of those things that we all already know on some level, and yet rarely do we actually stop and breathe when it could be incredibly useful to us in life, and in sex. It sounds obvious, “take a deep breath,” when we’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, rushed or frustrated, and yet, how often do you actually do this in a day? How often during sex do you take the time to inte...
Good Vibes Clinic •

How to Balance Effort and Ease in Therapy for Sustainable, Real Change — Good Vibes Clinic

Many of us have a strained relationship with effort and ease. We long for ease — we crave rest, spaciousness, and relief — and often structure our lives around the hope that it will come after we’ve done enough. Ease becomes the light at the end of the tunnel: the reward for hard work, the promise that keeps us going. And yet, we often find ourselves stuck in a relentless state of exertion. No matter how much we push, ease seems to remain just out of reach — because there’s always something more...
Sexfluent CANFAR •

What can diversity in porn teach you about yourself? | Sexfluent

When we’re looking toward Ethical Porn, we’re able to see a lot more diversity across all areas—from the genders and bodies we’re seeing on screen to the camera angles and actual directors, as well as the types of content we’re seeing. If you’re just using porn to get the job done, and not feeling great about using it either, you’re far less likely to spend time actually getting curious about what types of porn do what to your body, and what it is you’re seeing that is actually turning you on. I...
Sexfluent CANFAR •

What can you learn from watching ethical porn? | Sexfluent

Porn has a very specific place in most of our lives: we watch it solo for the purpose of masturbation, and then once we’ve gotten where we wanted to go, we close all tabs and delete all search history and leave no trace of what we were watching for anyone to find.‍‍Most of us have a couple key search terms we use the majority of the time when accessing porn as well, and these are usually the things we know will do the job for us, our tried and true porn go-to’s.Because of this, it often means we...
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