What Is Sexological Bodywork? A Somatic Sexologist Explains (Sydney & Online)

Let’s talk about what the heck sexological bodywork actually is.

I’m Taylor, a somatic sexologist based in Sydney’s Eastern Suburbs (and online), and it’s the question I get asked most. So here’s the plain-language version.

Sexological bodywork is a somatic sex education modality. We use embodiment tools like breath, movement, sound, touch and placement of awareness, to work with, explore, expand on and uncover anything to do with body connection, sex and relationships that you bring to the session.

It’s often called somatic sexology, and it sits alongside somatic sex therapy and sex education.

In traditional sex and relationship therapy, we usually focus on speaking and cognitive processes: unpacking our beliefs and how we think about sex. That’s very, very useful, because the biggest sex organ is the brain.

In somatic work, we hold the story with curiosity, but we also level up the experience of the body, the soma, so it carries equal importance to the cognitive processes happening around whatever we’re working with.

Rather than putting the mind above the body or the body above the mind, we bring them level. That way, when we enter sex and relationships, body and mind work together and are aligned, rather than feeling at odds with each other, which for many people is their experience of sexuality: the body at odds with the mind.

Probably the main thing that sets sexological bodywork apart from traditional sex therapy is the possibility of clothed or unclothed one-way touch, from practitioner to client, for the purpose of the client’s learning.

Say someone comes in with pre-orgasmia, meaning they’ve never had an orgasm. Together, client and practitioner decide whether touch-based practices would feel supportive, so the client can practice nervous system regulation and bringing awareness to sensation and their experience during the process of receiving touch, right there in session. This way, we can explore how to receive touch, ask for what we want, stay present during touch, and notice whether we’re performing while we’re being touched. All kinds of things can come up in the process of receiving.

It can be really useful to have a hands-on modality where you receive touch with a practitioner present, because the practitioner is there to guide you. I’m more or less an anchor, helping you drop back into your body, notice what’s coming up, and practise communication, embodied consent and active receiving.

Touch is never required. The work is hands-on in the sense that we do the learning in the session, but that doesn’t always mean touch from me to you.

Somatic sexologists work with any experiences related to embodiment, sexuality, and relationship dynamics/patterns. This can include: 

• nervous system regulation
• sexual function (erections, ejaculations, orgasm, painful sex, etc)
• embodied consent
• erotic embodiment
• body image
• unraveling sexual shame
• disconnection/dissociation
• bringing awareness to what you’re experiencing while you’re experiencing it
• other somatic practices that help you tune in and have more authentic, more aligned sexual experiences

And lots more.

Here’s what a session typically looks like:

1. Arrive and drop in. We do an embodiment practice to get us both into our bodies and grounded in the space.
2. Check in. A verbal chat about what’s worked since last time, what hasn’t, what you’re curious about, and any new stuff that’s come up. (And let’s be real, there’s always new stuff.)
3. Choose the focus. I might offer a couple of suggestions for how we could work with something, and you choose what you feel curious about and open to. It’s always client-led and consent-based.
4. Do the thing. We co-create an erotic embodiment practice together, based on your goal or intention.
5. Install the process. Like savasana at the end of yoga: time to be, not do, and let the practice land in your body.
6. Reflect and integrate. We debrief, and set intentions for what you might explore between sessions. Then you go on your merry way.

A tip: leave extra time after your session. There’s always time built in for aftercare, integration and regulation, but we can never fully know how we’ll feel walking out. A little space before you rush to your next thing is really good for your nervous system and your processing. Sometimes we just need to walk slowly through the world after a learning experience.

Rather than telling you what to do and sending you home to do it, we do it together. 

Having another person there holds you in the container of actually doing the practice. At home, you plan a 20-minute practice and then someone comes to the door, your phone goes off, your partner gets home, or the dishes in the sink start calling. 

In my experience, when people have the experience in the session, they’re much more likely to integrate it into life afterwards. They’ve felt what it’s like to be in that state, and they know how it can be useful.

I offer sexological bodywork in person in Sydney (Bondi) and online. 

The only difference online is that there’s no touch component. The intention is the same: get curious about what you’re experiencing in your body in different sexual and relational experiences. That awareness applies to the rest of life, too, because we’re always experiencing things.

It can be a great fit if:

• you feel disconnected from your body or your pleasure
• your body isn’t functioning the way you expect or want it to
• you’re curious about tools for nervous system regulation
• you’ve found other approaches hit a block

Somatic sexology can reach places where other therapeutic modalities come up against a wall.

People often assume somatic work is woo woo, spiritual, or alternative wellness. 

There’s nothing woo woo about being in your body, and somatic work is not connected to any particular spirituality. Learning your body’s signals and what it’s trying to communicate is the most human thing we can do. We call it woo woo because we’ve been so disconnected from our bodies and our pleasure.

Somatic sexology takes this very human approach to sexual and relational concerns. We already hold a lot of information in our bodies. With the right tools, language and awareness, we can drop in and listen.

What is sexological bodywork?
A somatic sex education modality using breath, movement, sound, touch and awareness to explore body connection, sex and relationships.

Is sexological bodywork the same as sex therapy?
No. Traditional sex therapy focuses mainly on talking and cognitive processes. Sexological bodywork brings in the body, with the possibility of one-way touch and practising skills in the session.

Do I have to be touched?
No. Touch is only ever included if you want it. Online sessions have no touch component.

Do you work with couples?
Yes, I work with individuals and couples, in person in Sydney and online.

If you’re curious, a free 10-minute alignment call is a no-pressure way to ask questions and see whether sexological bodywork feels aligned for you.

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